OK so I'm freaking out now...

I'm kind of feeling a bit scared right now... Well let me just tell you what has happened in the past couple of years so that you understand how I am at this point now. On Memorial Day of '07 we had family in town so on Memorial Day we decided to do a cook out and just ride horses and kind of chill for the day. Well my father-in-law had purchased a Palomino mare a couple of months before who was in dire need of some feed and TLC. So after a few months of getting her bulked back up he had her out on Memorial Day and was riding her, when he was about done he hollered at me and asked if I wanted to take her out for a ride so I said sure!! BIG MISTAKE!!!!! I hop on, of course in his 18" saddle and I'm wearing my tennis shoes (what was I thinking? I'm not so sure I was...) and take off on her and she was doing fine but as soon as we started heading back towards the house she started acting barn sour so I wasn't going to let her have her way so I turned her and continued on in a different direction. Well that didn't go over very well with her she just got mad and started running, and when I say running I do mean like wild mustang style running. Well during this she was not responding to the bit or anything else it was like she zoned out. So my foot slips out of the stir up, no surprise as they are to long for me!! Again DUH!!! I was yanking on her head but she wouldn't give me anything so the next thing I know we are headed for a row of cedar tree's and I know that she will turn but I was afraid that since my foot was out of the stir up that I would end up flying into a tree. So I made an executive decision to jump off of her....AGAIN BAD IDEA!!!! Well to explain it better I decided to jump so I let go of the reins and before I knew it I was flying through the air, so I never technically jumped I guess she just ran out from underneath me???... So I hit the ground landing on my left hip/backside and the pain was so excruciating that I couldn't even yell for help. I finally mustered up enough strength to yell for my mom or FIL and after hollering the 2nd time they came running over and I can't move because the pain is so bad so I lay there for a moment, which wasn't pleasant because I landed where our lateral lines for our septic system are and boy did it smell *gag*.... So finally I tell them I need you to move me away from here, at this point we are trying to decide is there something wrong or am I just in pain from hitting the ground? So they stand me up and basically carry me to a chair so I can sit and within seconds of sitting I started blacking out and quickly yelled for them to get me back on the ground. About that time my Hubby pulled up, he had taken the kids to get gas for the toys. So he comes running over and quickly decides to call 911 and I just remember my sweet J sitting up by my head crying saying "I love you mommy, your going to be OK". So the EMS come and take me to the local hospital which I'll just sum up to saying they tried to make me go home claiming there was nothing wrong with me and when I refused they sent me to a hospital in the big city. Upon my arrival there I am immediately whisked to the trauma unit and they strip me down, which I was not happy about because I was wearing my favorite jeans and pink John Deer tank that my SIL got me :( But they cut it all up and sent me to CT and while I lay there in the scanner the Dr comes in and says well you are right there is something wrong, you broke your back!!! WHAT!!! NO that can't be!!! So I'm thinking I just misunderstood him and I say excuse me? He says you broke your back, specifically the L2, L3, and L4 Vertebra... So I spent some days in the hospital and was put on severe restrictions, of course so I was off work for 2 months and then after that they said I was A-OK...

Well in April of '08 I started having pain again and they sent me for an MRI and found that I had a herniated disc between 2 of the vertebra's I had broke. So they opted for me to have a nerve root done, which is where they inject cortisone into your nerves to deaden the pain, well it worked for about a month and then they did another one. So that finally wore off in July of '08 and I went back and they sent me for physical therapy and that didn't work so now after months of waiting they have decided I need to have a Discogram done. So I was fine with that until I called the hospital to find out exactly what they were doing. The nurse told me they will stick needles down into the discs and inject dye then send me over to CT and get a scan, then I will stay there for 2 hours so they can monitor my pain and make sure I have no nerve damage or anything. Then she says to me "your Dr explained to you that this is a very excruciating procedure right"? UMMM NOOO they did not, and she says well it is and you can't have any pain meds while we do the procedure because you will have to tell us when and where the pain starts... Boo Hoo!!! I am such a baby about this area of my back and now they are going to stick needles in there and I have to be awake and feel everything!!!! I asked her if they would give me anything while I was on the table and she said no, but I wonder if she was thinking I meant pain meds when I was really referring to something to relax me while they are brushing my spinal nerves with a needle!!!! So this procedure will be done on Thursday, and I'm really freaking out!!!!!