Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Answers to the "Speechless-ness"

So I just got done reading everyone's comments from my post yesterday "Even I Was Speechless", and thought I should say a couple more things. That post was SO long I didn't want these points to get lost in all of those words!

OH trust me she will NEVER get close to my child again! Me I usually have no problem telling someone off! The Hubby..well he likes to just be civil and avoid the situation in the future. As for me with this situation I cannot express enough just how shocked I was and really I didn't even know what to say. We did exchange some heated words and I do NOT have any of her things! Praise the Lord! We made sure to put it at her car while she was at the rodeo so she has no more ties to us.

I honestly just do not have an answer as to why I was kind enough to not tell her off...It really has me baffled and annoyed because I have never found myself in this situation, I have always spoke my mind but I really got a BAD vibe in the sense that it could just make things worse if I did.

Also I too was proud of my girl for standing her ground but I did not want TW to have anymore reasons to tell me why my child needs discipline.

And honestly in regard to her daughter JP I had no ill feelings towards her, DD didn't mind working with her. I felt so very sorry for her when I listened to the million other things her mother said she'd done to JP when she was *bad*. It wasn't until she made the comment about if we took this horse her mom wanted us to take and she "caught DD pulling on the horses mouth she'd yank her off that horse" that I realized she had this look in her eye that was not right and I pretty much felt like *oh great she's just like her momma, poor girl*!! It has been severely haunting me that maybe I should be alerting someone of this woman's abuse on her children.

UGHH friends I just am sick over the whole thing! But it is done, again I say she will NEVER get close to my child again. Unfortunately we will see them and probably often because they run in some of the same circuits but I fully intend on putting her in her place if she comes near us!

And DD has improved so much this rodeo season! But for all that she's improved she's kind of getting overwhelmed with all of the basic things and when she has a mess up in a run it is due to forgetting a key point in her run. So my original plan was to have Little Miss Sweetness (Bloggy friend P's daughter) work with her and I am sticking with that plan! We are hoping to get together one night this week and then hopefully at least once a week after. They live about an hour from us so with the still somewhat shorter daylight hours it'll be a challenge but we'll figure it out. DD is very excited about this as she loves both P and Little Miss Sweetness!

Thank you friends for the words of encouragement and validating that my girls reaction was spot on. Oh the wisdom of a child...Sometimes we as adults have to remember that a child can see things we may not catch right off the bat!

Monday, February 21, 2011

Even I Was Speechless!

This just might be my LONGEST post EVER!! It was a BAD deal LOL!!

So I'm back...again...Rodeo season...Busy time! We just finished off finals tonight at the Winter circuit DD runs in and boy I am EXHAUSTED!! But even in my exhaustion I just have to share this with you all. As most of you know it is not typical to find me speechless or quiet about something that is bothering me and boy let me tell ya...I am speechless! Let me start from the beginning, last Wednesday.

Wednesday afternoon the Hubby calls and says our friend Cowboy S is taking his kiddo's over to a local indoor arena to practice for finals and thought we should come too. So Sis and I get the trailer hooked up and the horse loaded ready to bolt when Daddy gets home, we were running about an hour behind our friend but we had the arena for the evening so no big deal! We get to the arena and there is a lady there who is *coaching* Cowboy S's daughter on poles. I thought this to be a bit strange because lil T doesn't need any coaching, she's pretty well trained in all of her events but I just figured that Cowboy S decided to bring in another voice...So this lady (we'll call her TW) has a teenage daughter with her and I soon realize that I have seen this girl at the rodeo over the Winter. She stands out to me because she absolutely does not look like a horse person *I know I'm labeling* but she just looks like this super quiet and timid girl but having seen her rodeo I know she is not timid at all. So withing a few minutes TW starts talking to the Hubby and I while DD is doing her warm ups with Krissy. I'm not even sure how all this came about but within 5 minutes of talking to TW she starts saying she doesn't like DD's saddle. She needs to ride in this other saddle that she has in her trailer and she then basically tells DD to follow her out to her trailer so she can switch saddles?! So off we go and I was thinking to myself *well maybe she is wanting to sell this saddle and I am needing to get DD a new saddle because if she grows another inch her legs will be to long as she's already on the last hole! So TW pulls out this saddle and it's a pretty nice Billy Cook barrel saddle that has a deeper seat then DD's does. Then TW says "hey just take the saddle and have DD run the finals with it, I think she'll do better in this saddle", so we go back in and DD goes to trot the pole pattern and TW starts telling her exactly what she is going to do when she goes...Like she's never run the pattern in her life...?

So I just kind of let her talk to DD and thought well maybe she can help her in some areas that we've been having some troubles with. TW comes back over to me and proceeds to tell me that her daughter (we'll call her JP) has run a 19 second poles at the rodeo we've been running in and I'm thinking in my mind I don't ever remember her running this 19 seconds but whatever. She then goes on to tell DD that she IS NOT to be loping her horse when she is warming up, she's to ONLY do that at home when she is practicing so the Hubby pipes in and says "this is HOME practice for her" but again whatever...Then we get into talking about all the WRONG things DD is doing...And according to TW pretty much everything she does in wrong...She is NOT to kick her horse when she's running home, she's NOT to use her reins when weaving the poles; legs only hands still...My thought is she needs to be lifting inside hand slightly to her pocket...But no that's wrong! OH and we'll be taking her spurs away soon!! Oh and our saddle pad, all wrong! We need to go to this certain store and buy this certain saddle pad that they sell...HMMM...Well that is exactly the pad she had on her horse FROM that store LOL! So when we say that she says "OH well get a thicker one then"! "And um why are we running her in the bit we are"?! And on and on!

We then decided to put the barrels out and immediately TW starts bossing DD around about what she's to be doing during the barrels and how to do this and that! OMG lady! DD has a very short tolerance for people who are overbearing, dominating, bossy, loud...But JP (the daughter) went out to the barrels with her and DD didn't mind that so much so they worked for a few minutes and then they start talking about how they want to help DD and "train" her. Mind you she doesn't really give you the option to say no she just pretty much tells you what you are doing?! I was so baffled! But even I was speechless! SO the Hubby said well we'd be back to the arena Thursday night and they said "oh they would love to come back and work with her". We left shortly after that and asked DD what she thought of the lady and she basically said she did kind of like the daughter JP but wasn't so sure about the mom.

I then had the Hubby call our friend Cowboy S and find out if he'd asked her to come and he says "NO she just showed up there and started bossing lil T around" LOL!! He didn't know her from Adam! OH crap is what we were thinking! But we went back on Thursday and they were there waiting on us. JP takes DD and shows her a "proper warm up" as her mom views...No 10 minutes walking, 10 minutes trotting, and *if* in an arena with soft footing then a few minutes of loping. NOPE she has to walk her around for a couple of minutes and get right into work. (Of course before all of this we agree on stretching the horse and flexing).

Basically TW then starts barking orders at DD and she isn't liking this lady's mannerism's at ALL! I could tell that she was getting very annoyed but again thought maybe just maybe she'd have something of value to offer. But basically she just wants to stand there and tell us that she "knows everything about training people to run barrels and poles but she will NOT get on a horse"...Say what?! You know everything but you won't ride?! She stated to me something about an accident she'd had decades ago and she is forever never riding a speed horse again, she will only get on a grandpa styled horse. But back to her MASSIVE amounts of knowledge, all gained from the multiple barrel clinics she has taken her daughter to, probably "$10,000 worth of clinics"... Oh and by the way sometime in here she has mentioned that there are a lot of people who "dislike her" because she will tell them what they are doing wrong on their horses...Even the fastest runners there...UM OK...She also told me if I was friends with this one certain lady then SHE could not be my friend! If only I'd known how bad this was going to get I would have pretended to know the lady she was speaking of LOL!!! So they move onto working poles and she starts again talking like DD has never run them in her life, I can't tell you how many times we told her that DD's been rodeo'n for years! And yes still *learning* to ride this horse that we bought last April.

I could tell within a few minutes in that DD was getting frustrated but daddy and I just kept telling her to push on. Finally TW tells her to walk around the arena with her hands on her saddle and she's NOT allowed to touch the reins, she must use only her legs. Which I thought was a good lesson, DD definitely needs lighter hands so this exercise I thought could help. DD was doing fairly well with this until Krissy walked up to the gate and wouldn't respond to leg to move out so DD reached down and grabbed her reins and pulled Krissy to the side with a little more than light hands. It was more like an instinctive act to back her quickly out of the bind but she did pull a bit to hard and TW looks at me and says "do you hit her", I say "HUH"?! She says "smack her for her attitude, cause if that was my daughter I'd of yanked her off that horse by her hair and thrown her on the ground and ask her if she liked that"! Then she proceeds to tell me that she's done just that to JP when she was 4 years old the first time! I just looked at her and said "I'm not afraid to discipline my daughter when she does something wrong, she knows"! So then she turns to my Hubby and says "I expect you to pull her hair tonight and if you don't the next time I see you I'm going to kick you in the balls"!!! DD comes up then and TW says to her "Do you ride bareback"? DD says "no not with Krissy, I did with my old horse though" TW says "well your going to, that's going to be one of the things you will be doing" DD says "I do NOT and I will NOT ride her bareback"!!! Mind you this statement was made simply because DD was feeling railroaded by TW, we have talked about riding bareback and we quite frankly haven't had the time!! And yes I did tell her she must not speak like that to an adult or *else*! Finally I just told DD lets load up, and of course TW wanted us to borrow this saddle for the weekend and we MUST have the matching bridle because she CANNOT stand mismatched things. "So can one of us stop by Friday to get it"?! Hubby says sure he can do it.

After we loaded up in the truck DD starts SOBBING and I'm like "Child what is your deal"!! She then goes on to tell us that TW had told her when she was over talking to her at one point that she had to give up EVERYTHING else that she loves like dance, cheerleading, soccer, because there is NO room for anything else! Which is exactly what she told me she made her daughter do, she had to give up track because she has to ride 5 horses a day!

Then Friday afternoon Hubby calls me after he leaves their house and says "oh boy, I walked into a war path"! When he got there JP was zooming off on her horse and calls her mom and "F...ing B"! Then TW and her husband are screaming at one another! My honey was FREAKED out! He said "I think they might all be crazy"!! Well lo and behold the bridle doesn't even fit Krissy *giggles* so DD was going unmatching LOL!! And TW informed the Hubby they'd be out Sunday to watch DD...

Saturday morning DD rode in their saddle for poles and decided she just did not feel comfortable in it and wanted hers back on so her and her cousin go switch saddles and all is right with the world! While we were at the rodeo on Saturday I asked a couple of friends if they knew who this lady was and they were like "she is CRAZY! Get rid of her as fast as possible"!! I find out from this one friend she is banned from one arena for some trouble she caused then another friend tells me of another arena she is banned from! HOLY COW!!! I did get some giggles cause my sweet friend who is here in bloggyland with us AND our kiddo's rodeo together tells her daughter "who is wanting to work with DD" and her daughter looks at me ever so slowly and says "NO! She will ruin your child, she does NOT know what she's doing"!! She said "tell DD to stick close to me if they show up cause they hate me"! So I'm beyond freaking out now because I know they are coming on Sunday and I really DO NOT want to see this lady! I literally could not fall asleep Saturday night cause I was worried about what I'd say to her!

Sunday afternoon she comes walking up and the Hubby see's her so he high tails it outta there! JERK! LOL!! But within 30 seconds of him being gone P's sweet daughter comes buzzing up and plops down next to me with this sweet grin on her face HAHA LOL!! (the Hubby ran to her and told her t rescue me)! It was so hard not to burst out laughing! So TW starts asking how DD did Saturday and I told her no time in poles (broken pattern, DD blames the saddle of course) and got her personal best time in barrels of 15.6! I told her that DD's pole run was better today but DD is not using her saddle and she's like "WHAT?! WHY?! She needs to be in that saddle"!! I just said well she's a creature of habit and she didn't feel comfortable in it. So then somehow we get on the topic of DD's horse not being a "trained barrel horse" that she has been used all around and P's sweet daughter was explaining that Krissy is broke as broke but is still green on the patterns so that makes it a bit more difficult for DD and then TW just goes off! She starts spouting about a "good rider doesn't need a patterned horse! They need to learn how to ride and that horse will do whatever you tell it to"!! Little miss sweetness just smiles at her and says "well I disagree with you because I want my horse to know he has a job and I know my job" So then JP (TW's daughter) pipes in and says "what's your fastest pole time"?! Little miss sweetness says "20 seconds yesterday"!! JP says "EGHH mine is a 19"! Okay just to clarify she did NOT have a clean 19 second run, I have found 1 time that she could have had a 19 but knocked down a pole because her recorded time was 24 seconds! So I call BS on that LOL!! So then the topic of polo wraps vs boots come up and Little miss sweetness says "she would prefer to use wraps because her horse tears boots up to fast and they are to expensive to go through them so fast", of course TW says "OMG NO WAY!!! If you use wraps your just asking for your horse to get an injury"! She would not take into account that Little miss sweetness knows how to put them on properly! The Hubby finally sits down and TW gets up and moves over by him and proceeds to tell him all about how WRONG Little sweet miss was about these wraps etc! And the Hubby said "I don't know why your telling me, I don't care either way"! So finally Little miss sweetness just had enough and had to walk away!

TW then looks at me and says "just so you know SHE is absolutely WRONG"! I was peeved! So I said right back at her "actually I don't have a problem with wraps and I don't think they are dangerous if put on right, Fallon uses them on her horses and I highly regard her opinion so I'll stick with them on this"!! So she says "well she wouldn't if she had REAL horses like $100,000 horses!" I spouted back "UM for your information she DOES have $100,000 horses"! Then I got up to go help DD get ready for her barrels and I really needed a breather! Then after the run she starts telling us that when the Hubby came by on Friday they were fighting because JP did something and they were in the trailer washing something so she had a wet towel and cornered JP because she was stuck and couldn't get out then proceeded to whip her with this rag and (in a really proud voice she says) "She had HUGE welts everywhere!! That's what MY kid gets if she's snotty"!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! Again I am at a loss for words! This poor child! DD came walking up right after that and TW says something to her about her run and literally DD acted like she wasn't even there! WHOA!! Daddy quickly informed her to pay attention when someone is talking to her LOL!!

Now she (TW) has a whole plan for what DD is going to be doing from now on...She is NOT going to rodeo on Krissy anymore, we are to come to her house and get this other horse that DD will rodeo on, she's 21! Then her daughter says "MOM you don't even OWN that horse"! TW says "Oh it's fine I already texted his owner and they're fine with that"! Hubby seen what she was typing and she told this guy "OH I have a buyer for your horse"....Then her daughter JP looks at me and says "if she's riding this horse and I EVER see her being heavy on his mouth I will yank her off that horse"!! Really?! Well the apple doesn't fall far from the tree I guess! Of course the Hubby was just trying to pacify her until she would leave by pretending that he'd come get this horse!

Finally she did and the Hubby looked and me and says she basically ran her mouth about everything you were saying everytime you'd get up! What the crap?! And you didn't put her in her place LOL!! He said she turns to him after I walked off once and says "UGHH who's this stupid Fallon Taylor that SHE is so adamant about listening to"? Hubby says "umm she's a well known pro barrel racer who lives in TX"!! TW says "UGHH OH I know who your talking about....She's nothing but a glorified horse trader"!! Seriously lady! You MUST get a LIFE!!!

And let me tell you PRAISE THE LORD I had a very strong feeling about this and I never gave her mine or the Hubby's phone numbers when we met her last week, I only got hers LOL! Now I know we will run into her soon at a barrel race but she'll be so pissed by then that she won't speak to me LOL!!

Monday, January 31, 2011

Barrel Jackpot Kind of Weekend~!!

I am SO exhausted after these last 4 days!! The Hubby went to El Paso to visit his grandma for her 89th Birthday so the kids and I have been ridin solo since last Thursday!

We were so blessed with FABULOUS weather Thursday, Friday, and Saturday! Saturday DD, my momma and I went to a barrel jackpot and I mean to tell you the temperature was around 70*!! Holy COW it was so awesome! DD was so happy to be outside in a short sleeve shirt and not having to be all bundled up! My girl had kind of a mixed day, she faltered in her exhibitions a little so she got nerved and come time for her open run she just did of lolly gagged or something...It wasn't the best run of her life but she did win 1st place in the 2D~!! She was very excited about that, as was I!

Saturdays runs

So Sunday afternoon we headed out to another barrel jackpot but mother nature was NOT our friend today!! BURR it was cold out there!! I think we hovered around 32-34* most of the time we were out there and of course this arena wasn't fully enclosed...Not to fun! So in a nutshell today was just not DD's day. She did her 3 exhibitions and knocked over barrel one the last time in so wouldn't you know when she came in for her open run she was all tensed up coming into barrel one, teeth gritting, stiff back and literally just plowed the barrel over! Not good...Needless to say she's got quite a nice knot in her leg from hitting it so hard. I guess we all have bad days and this one was hers! The lady that owns this arena let DD come back in after the open so she could *rework* barrel one and leave on a good note, so that made me happy enough!

Sundays runs

Start of brushing to close to barrel one

And just plow her down here!

Another busy rodeo weekend next weekend! We've got some terrible weather coming this week so I'm hoping it doesn't interfere with our plans!

Hope everyone has a super BLESSED week!!

Friday, January 28, 2011

Some Updated Pics of my Favorite 4 Legged Friends!

The Winter season is not my friend...As much as I'd like to be on good terms with her I just can't...She makes my life miserable! EXCEPT for days like today when we were nearing 60*!! WHOO-HOO!!!

While DD was out exercising Krissy tonight I buzzed around and got some updated pics of some of my favorite 4 legged friends! I really LOVE them all! Unfortunately the Hubby and I have decided before to long we are going to sell them off...Again...I did this last year and parted with the ones I could bear to part with and still miss 2 of them dearly! But I finally have to agree with my honey on this, we simply do not have the time to give all of them the attention they need being up and coming riding horses. There are just a couple besides Krissy that I would like to keep but the rest will go bye-bye come Spring I think..

This is H.B. she's kind of new! We bought her about a month ago!

Angel and Rita

Curious Jet

Beautiful Bella!

My most Handsome Stone!

I totally LOL'd at Krissy's face!

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Good Run!!

Over the past couple of months DD and I have been working our butts off getting her and her horse in sync with one another! She's been running in the Winter Rodeo association that she's runs in every year.

It is so hard this time of year trying to get their practice time in between school and other functions and the stinking sun setting at 5:30!! Slowly but surely we are getting it done! The first couple of rodeo's they were just not doing all that great...She'd pretty much blown all of her pole runs and was consistently pulling 17 seconds on barrels.

So to work harder we went! We've been pretty much flying solo this season as the Hubby and J are working practically every weekend! But it has actually worked out quite nice because we've been the ones working together and so it always causes a wrinkle when Hubby wants to come in and give his *2 cents*! But he finally agreed with me that when he's there he will run my camera for me so I can get her ready to go and still have video!

We've been working on poles quite a bit, mostly because she really needed the most work on this event and I wanted her to learn the *proper* way to run them and by golly she's finally getting it! AND she's having fun with them now!

This past weekend she finally pulled her best barrel time ever! I was so thrilled and so was she! Her eyes just lit up when I told her she'd finally broke through the 15 second barrier! She screamed "REALLY"?!?! I just laughed!! She was so proud of her 15.807 time on that run! And the best part about it is she has so much room for improvement because she wasn't even running Krissy as hard as she should have been! But we have 2 barrel jackpots this weekend so she'll be getting the work in there!!

So here is her run from Sunday! Which I might just throw in here that it was FREEZING cold and snowing that morning LOL!!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Just Gotta Go There...

Oh friends...I know I have been gone for a bit and I hate to come back with a post like this but I just gotta get this out before my blood pressure causes my brain to explode!!

First off we are all doing well here, just been busy with the kids' activities and all of my *other* obligations! DD has a rodeo this weekend and we are praying for fair weather! Last week there was so much snow on the ground that there was no practice time! So this week we are hitting it hard getting ready for the weekend and of course today it spat ice on us so we are in a bit of a freeze right now with snow coming over night... BOO!!! We were lucky to get the practice done RIGHT before the icy rain started! I just cannot wait for Spring to get here! I just need a pick me up and this Winter weather is doing nothing but kicking me down!

A few months ago I posted here about my dad's widow passing away. In that post I told you about my dad's passing 5 1/2 years ago and the troubles I had with his wife after he died and really truly the whole thing just broke me...I have not ever recovered from the blow of losing my dad at my young age of 27, I know lots of people have lost a parent much younger than I did and my heart breaks for them. I am so glad that I did have my 27 years to be with him but I miss him everyday and it is a constant heartache in my life. I have absolutely been difficult at times and massively depressed at times since losing him. I honestly haven't found much to comfort me and the situation with his wife just made that pain burn even worse and I became a person that I don't even recognize sometimes. I want to be loving and fun and carefree but I seem to just get lost in all of this and feel like I'm grasping at straws just to function partly to mostly normal ;)

Some of the things that I haven't been able to get over were feeling like she had something to do with his death...I don't know why I feel that, well yes I do know partly why I feel that. The morning that he died October 14, 2005 I was traveling with my family to TX to visit my Hubby's niece as she was getting ready to undergo surgery to remove a tumor near her brain and we of course wanted to be with her. So here we are driving in the car and I get that dreadful call that will never leave my mind and we turn around to head back to KS, we were a few hours away and I had a cousin who went to the hospital for me and I was requesting an autopsy because my dad was 50 yrs old and it was a sudden death with no warning signs, to me I just needed that bit of closure to know exactly what caused his death. I told my stepmother that I wanted the autopsy and she did not allow it and had him *processed* and at the funeral home by the time I made it back to the city. I was SO very angry, so hurt because this was my dad and this was something I wanted. Then when it came time to sit down with the funeral director we had to write his obituary and this was very hard for me, especially when my stepmother started telling them what "she" wanted written and the way it came to be printed was all of her kids and grandkids listed then my brother and I and our kids after all of them... What the heck?! Literally I had to search the thing just to find my name! He was my dad, not theirs! Her kids did not always treat my dad right and they were alot of my dads frustration in his last few years (they were married about 9 years). So then within hours of his death they (the kids) were just prancing around my dads house like they owned it, laughing and carrying on having a grand old time while I literally sat on the couch just sobbing and wanting them to leave!! Literally one of my stepbrothers girlfriends said to my stepmother "well looks like now you can finally take down that deer head that you've hated for so long"!! She just laughed like it was the funniest thing she'd ever said...I was shocked and very hurt, he hadn't even been buried yet! I will never understand the frame of mind they were in to be so rude and careless to me and my family. Then came the *dividing* of my dads things, my brother and I got a few small personal things but left the rest of his things out of respect for his wife that she may have the time to grieve and hold those things to give her comfort or whatever they could do to help her through that time. Then came the time for things starting to disappear and not a word was said about any of it. Then after a couple of months came the moving in of my dads childhood best friend (who had through his adult years turned into a real piece of garbage), after he moved in my stepmother would say "I'm just helping him, he had no where to stay"...Soon after that they were a *couple* DISGUSTING!!!

After that happened we quit speaking and I tried, then my brother tried to get back dads things. Things like our family pictures, that deer head that disappeared off the wall, his tools etc...Needless to say everything that belonged to my dad was gone. They had gotten rid of, sold, or stole what was left of his things. I'd begged in letters for the things and got no response, I finally threatened to file a civil suit against her for the stuff and lo-and-behold she filed bankruptcy ASAP. Thus preventing me from filing a suit against her.

After she died her son had contacted me and said he wanted to do the right thing and "give my brother and I what was rightfully ours, the house". Well I figured out soon enough that the other siblings were not on board with this and I talked to an attorney and he told me that I had no *legal* right to anything since my dad died first...So I then decided I would not sink any money into the place and fix it to sell because they couldn't be trusted to not stab me in the back!

Recently I got a phone call from an attorney that the house was in foreclosure and they wanted my address to send me the paperwork...Well I was quite confused because if I had no *rights* to anything why do I have to be drug into a foreclosure! So this bank was opening the house up for any of us kids to come remove anything we wanted on this certain date. I basically decided it was not healthy for me to get involved with this because I was sure there would be conflict and I wouldn't be able to control my hurt and anger so luckily I had a meeting that day and couldn't go. I was contacted by my stepsister saying she had a few things for my brother and I, not sure what it could be as there wasn't anything left of dads that we had seen. Then I find out that this stepsister and her husband are taking things out of the house and selling it on craigslist. I felt upset about that but just let it roll until today, I got a phone call that threw me right back into the whole situation and wanting to scream at all of them.

My aunt is a real estate agent and she called me today and let me know that my dads house is up on the market for sell! I was furious! And so confused, because I thought it was being foreclosed on?! So I messaged my stepsister and she informed me that her and her husband put it on the market and they have until March sometime to sell it or the bank will take possession and she is going to "try and talk her siblings into sharing the profits with my brother and I"...WHAT?! Share?! MY dad paid for the house!!! Yes it has a mortgage now because they got a loan to pay off HER student loans!!! They have the house listed for $25,000 more than what is owed and I am just peeved!! If they get one penny off that house I'm not sure what I will do! It's bad enough to have watched them torment my dad, then deal with his witch of a wife and then watch them take all of dads things and now THEY get a profit off of his house and they *might* give us something UGHH!!!!!!!

I have been so angry all night, my blood pressure is up, I'm dizzy, my head hurts and I just feel like I'm on the edge of a breakdown here! I know hate is a strong word but I hate them! I did message my stepsister back (by the way she and one of her brothers are not biological kids to my stepmother, she raised them from her ex-husbands first marriage) and posed the question to her "do you and your siblings honestly feel entitled to this house because I am SO confused"?!

I would also like to clarify that this stepsister and her husband I believe were the only kids that really truly loved my dad and they did treat him with respect, she even quit speaking to her mom for some years because of what she did after my dad had died. So she is not the one I am angry at...

I have such a hard time with all of this because I very much live my life with the feeling of I would never do something to someone that I know would hurt me so bad if it was done to me and their utter disregard for what's right and wrong in this situation is killing me!

Please pray for me, that I find it in my heart to let go and let God do it all for me. And just to have peace restored in my heart and closure would be an amazing gift..

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Here I am Leah~!!!

I am here friends!! So sorry for my lack of posting lately! For some reason life has decided to keep me overly busy...What's up with that?!?! We are doing good here and hopefully I can give you a good post soon!! But for now I'll show you some of what's been going on here!!

So take a look at this picture...The picture on the right was Christmas 2009, picture on the left Christmas 2010. I actually had myself convinced that my baby girl was just a runt and wasn't growing anywhere besides her behind...Yes I said her "behind", what can I say she takes after her daddy :) So when I uploaded our Christmas picture to FB the other day I got to looking at last year and had near heart failure when I realized how much she had grown LOL!! Can you say *momma in denial* over here LOL LOL!!! Just to put this into perspective, we measured her back on December 18, 2010 then when I was hugging her the other day after combining these to pictures I realized her head was hitting me higher than it did in the picture so I measured her again...On January 7, 2011 and she has grown over 1/2"!!! In 3 weeks! OH MY!!!