Monday, July 12, 2010

Does It Ever Really End?

I wish I was writing to say that I have had a fabulous weekend but I'm not...This has been the strangest most emotionally challenging weekends for me maybe ever. Most of you know that my dad passed away 5 years ago this coming October. I posted a memorial post for him on the 4 year anniversary of his death and told you all about him.

My brother and I a couple of years ago...

But what I did not tell you was about his wife...My mom and dad were married when I was born, but divorced when I was 1 year old. I lived with my mom until I was a teenager then I left and went to my dad's. My whole life my dad stayed single, his whole life revolved around myself and my brother. After I had J he met a woman and married her when I was 17. After they were married and she moved in we had some issues, she did not like the fact that dad was so close to us kids and me especially. So one night she had been drinking and got mad at me cause J (who was 1 1/2 at the time) was watching TV at 10 pm, big deal I said! So she proceeded to bust my door in then came after me trying to attack me. My dad quickly ran and dragged her out into the hall where she tried to reach around him to hit me and he held her back. Ultimately she kicked J and I out that night and we went and stayed with a friend. The next day I came back and the house was destroyed, my dad informed me that she would never come at me again as she has been warned. He was right she never did try again and she seemed to try hard to like me. I left home shortly after that as it was not good for us to be in the same house, for me it was my house and for her I was an intrusion.

I should mention that the house we lived in was paid for by my dad before he ever married her. But after being married to her and putting her through nursing school he mortgaged the house to pay for her student loans. After she graduated school my dad lost his job of 27 years over a mistake of taking off work to go help one of her kids that needed him and he did not clock out when he left. There was a transition going on in the company and no room for mistakes so he was terminated immediately. After that he had a rough time as that was all he had ever done and was devastated to be in that position. Things just got worse and worse to the point where his wife "C" wouldn't even give him money for anything...He was only allowed a gas card to get gas. He came to TX to see me a few times when we lived there and would come with no money as she wouldn't allow it and he would usually leave without even saying where he was going. This is why he had to tell me what was going on because he had no money for food or anything else. He was so ashamed and I was so heartbroken for the greatest guy on earth!

My daddy

So fast forward to his passing away, maybe someday I can share with you what happened to him. Actually I kind of think now I will never know. But after he passed away, about a month and half later his wife moved in his "best friend"!! Into my dad's house! This man was a chronic drug user and my dad always had a soft spot for him as they grew up together (that's why he was even in his life). But his wife C "felt sorry for Marty" and decided that she needed company anyhow...WHAT?! Pretty much shortly after that I wasn't speaking to her anymore. To be honest I was very bitter about the way she treated my dad after everything he had done to support her and now she was living in a house my dad paid for and with his best friend!!!!! I asked her numerous times to please let me have my dad's personal belongings such as photo albums from my child hood but she wouldn't respond. I sent her letter after letter, even certified and they were returned. She soon after that filed bankruptcy, with a debt of around $140,000 which was astounding considering the house was only mortgaged for $40,000 and she didn't get any new vehicles or anything! So after she filed I couldn't file a civil suit against her and I just left it alone.

I knew that in that house there were illegal things going on. There was covering over the garage door windows and I knew he was a drug user so I suspected she might have fallen into it as well. I have a family member across the street who would periodically tell us there were strange things going on over there and he tends to keep a watch out. So Saturday afternoon he called my granny's and spoke to my cousin who then called me to tell me that C had been arrested...They were told she was abusing prescription meds and drinking. So after many calls to the jail we finally found out she was being charged with Domestic Violence Battery and Domestic Violence Assault. So I messaged her daughter and asked what the heck was going on and she informed me that the relationship C had with Marty was out of control and he "beats her all the time" and well she tries to kick him out but he came back with his kid who is very badly behaved and she tried to get him to leave and he refused then something happened and she proceeded to chase the son around the yard and hit him on the back of the head. WOW, this did not surprise me as I have been that kid...However her daughter claimed that she was not taking the meds and drinking and found it very hard to believe her mom attacked that kid or me. I responded that I have a letter from her mom apologizing for that and that she felt like her actions ruined my dad's love for her. All of which she wrote me after his death. So needless to say last night I was MAD! I wanted vengeance on this woman and all of the hell she has caused for me and my brother and especially my dad! I of course did not say that to her daughter I just simply told her that what I said was true and I was glad she never harmed them.

So today (Sunday) early afternoon I get a message that says "well you will never have to worry about C again as she committed suicide last night"?! WHAT?!!! I was shocked! And saddened and angry that now I'll never get the truth about things. My heart breaks for her kids and grand kids, I'm at such a loss for words. After speaking with her son whom I have not spoken to in almost 5 years I learned that she knew the cops were coming to arrest her and so she proceeded to take a whole bottle of aspirin, he other son told the police but she lied and said it wasn't true so they sent her to the jail, she later complained of stomach pains and by the time they got the jail nurse down there she was asleep so they left her alone only to find out she died in her sleep. Again WOW...

Her son called me (which by way she told her kids that my brother and I were harassing her and breaking into the house stealing things...Only today did he finally think that just maybe she lied) because he says he believes that my brother and I should have everything of my dad's that we have been asking for and he also believes the house should go back to us. I told him I have a hard time taking his word as I have been waiting 5 years just to have simple pictures that we now know had been thrown away. Her son confirmed to us tonight that C had in fact been on numerous different drugs including crystal meth, crack, cocaine, heroine and something else...I am not good with drug names..Her daughter also messaged me again today and said "she lied to me last night when she said her mom was clean because she was trying to defend her but she had in fact found out last night that she was on meth". So I guess I am going to be hiring an attorney over the house thing. I'm thinking if she has this huge debt I won't be able to take the house but I'm not sure at this point where all of that stands. I am under the impression she had not been working either. I was informed tonight that the house is FULL of drug paraphernalia; needles, broken needles, syringes, spoons, coffee cans full of needles and such etc etc etc...Her son said he actually had to leave the house as it was about to make him throw up it is so bad. I am really upset by this, my dad took such care of his house and now I hear the whole thing is trashed!

Please pray for me...


  1. I will definitely pray for you. Sorry you are having to deal with so much drama and tragedy.

  2. Oh girlie.

    I am so very sorry.

    I know that has to be hard to deal with emotionally.

    I am so glad that you have good memories of your dad and I hope that whatever needs to be resolved with this "C" situation is quick and smooth and over with soon.

    Again, I am so sorry - and you definitely have my prayers.

  3. ok so you KNOW I will be praying for you. If you need anything at all you know you can call me. Love ya

  4. Oh Michelle- I am so sorry you have to go through all this. Sending good vibes, thoughts and prayers your way.

  5. I am so sorry, girl. :( I wish I knew why people lived in the pits they do, I just don't understand it. Drugs play such a HUGE part in the disfunction of so many folk's lives. Just this weekend my Dad's Mom was rushed to the ER for OD'ing on pain pills and anti-depressants. She's my Grandmother for pete's sake, you know? But ever since my Grandpa died, she just can't handle things and before you know it....

    :big deep sigh:

    Anyway. I really hope everything works out for the best, and that you get all of your Dad's belongings back, the house is just a possession, but the memories are what are the most important. I'll pray they're all stored somewhere safely, instead of thrown away. {hugs}

  6. Praying that God gives you strength and courage to make it through this trial!

  7. Oh Michelle...I'm so sorry to hear about this. Remember that God is bigger than anything and I'll be lifting you and your brother up in prayer and asking God to give you wisdom, peace and comfort that only he can offer. Take care.....

  8. What a nightmare for you, my friend. I am so sorry. Your poor Daddy and your dear brother, too.
    So sad. So much tragedy, drama and heartache.

    Just yesterday, I was feeling sad because I have no family anymore. I was wishing that we had some family who cared about us and that would live nearby.
    My Mom committed suicide with a gun when I was only 8 yrs old. All of my grandparents are passed on, and I'm an only-child. My Dad is still alive, but he married to the wicked witch of the east, living in North Carolina. I've never gotten along with my stepmother. She's never had children of her own is very selfish, bitter and jealous.
    All of her family disowned her over the years, so she has noone besides one friend who is also child-less and bitter and sour, too.

    I have my maternal family living in California, an couple aunts, uncles and cousins, but they are all a mess and think we have money and try to make us feel bad for them so we will give them money every time they call or e-mail us.

    We moved to New Mexico to escape the drama, the meddling, and gossip...and most of the time we love that. But sometimes, I wish my children had someone, other than than their parents and siblings that loved them and spoiled them. But it's only us.

    After reading what is going on in your family, that might not be such a bad thing after all.

    Once again, I'm so very sorry.


  9. What an incredibly sad and frustrating situation. I hope you can finally get some of your father's personal possessions and hopefully the house back as well.

  10. I am so sorry to hear about what is going on. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!!

  11. Sorry - Keep your dad's memories close those are the ones that matter! The others are just things that need to be dealt with and put behind you.... Keep your chin up :)

  12. I am terribly sorry to hear of your loss and pain. You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers.

  13. Wishing you the best of luck in reclaiming what your father would have wanted you to have. I am sorry for what you are having to go through. I have an "evil stepmother" and my Dad lives in his own garage so am familiar with how hard it is to navigate through such troubles... I too would love to just have some family albums and such but I doubt I ever will. My thoughts are with you.

  14. I am so sorry you are having to go through that. I can't compare at all since nothing like that has ever happened to me but I want you to know that I am on your side. You will handle this and come out better for it - cause that's the kind of person you are, we all know it. I wish you good look and hope that this will all end some day with some resolution for you. I would be so heartbroken if that were my dad - you are unbelievably strong just to write about it.