What's a Mom to do?!
I have an issue that has now consumed 2 days of my life and I am sick of it!! I want it gone!! Let me back track here...Last Friday J was driving to school and he felt like his truck was acting funny and noticed that it was getting hot, which is pretty hard to do when it's freezing cold outside! And it wouldn't shift, so he called the Hubby and he was told to pull over and let the truck cool down then drive 20 miles per hour the rest of the way. So that is what he did, the ending result of him driving it in that condition is it fried the transmission so now we have this huge bill on our hands and J is without a truck!! The Hubby couldn't go help him that morning as he was already an hour away working...So he got to school and as he was going down the hall the bell rang and he was "late" for class so he got a tardy.. So Monday he comes home and says I have detention for my tardy on Friday, I asked him did he explain that his truck broke down etc and he said yes I told him that but he said I already used my other 2 "freebies" for being tardy so this would stand. So he was to serve this detention Wednesday afternoon. So I told him I would call the school and try and figure this out, I don't feel like it was his fault that the truck broke.. So I was going to call the school Tuesday afternoon before they left for a game in another town but the game was canceled and the next thing after that is that J was serving his detention that night. So I called to speak with the Vice Principal and he said basically that he was to serve this and that's how it is. I asked him how this was a valid tardy when his truck broke down? He replied to me that they have this policy in effect because of parents that will call and say their child had car issues if they are simply running late so to stop that car issues are no longer a valid excuse. Then he proceeded to tell me that "the school district provides transportation and since we don't choose to use it then that's our problem". My response to that was "you don't provide anything for after school practices and I would have to go get him everyday. Well I did that last year and I don't have the time to sit around in the parking lot every night because they never get out of practice on time"!! So then he puts the Principal on the phone who is a complete waste of my time! This woman has decreased our student population by half in the year and a half that she's been there!! She does not take our children's education as a top priority she spends more time trying to look good...So what does she do with these kids that she doesn't like she either straight out kicks them out of school and they go to the local "Learning Center" or she harasses the child and family until the choose to leave! So my conversation with her was very short as she is always right and everyone else is always wrong!!! And "he will be serving this detention today she told me" and I said "oh no he won't I will be there to get him out of detention" So that is what I did!! I pulled him out of there!! And man it felt great! I took him over to his BB coaches and asked what their policy was if he would have to sit out still and they said no he did not they were glad to have him back into practice and one of the coaches went as far to say he thought it was stupid anyways LOL!!! Oh did I mention that 99% of the teachers do not like this woman!!! I called our Superintendent and spoke with him about the issues with her and I explained to him that I will yank my child out of that district and send him to another school that is close and he definitely does not want that to happen!!This would be his now broken down truck :(
SO now I should mention why this is such a big deal...J has worked really hard this semester keeping his grades up, getting to school on time, not being absent, no disciplinary action (not to hard for him LOL), SO the "prize" for all of that is he does not have to take his finals! And my other issue is that the other 2 tardy "freebies" he got during school hours and both were do to teacher issues basically. So now that he has this strike on him he has to take those finals....He was so upset because he was looking forward to that bit of break on his stress level in school!! So I spent all afternoon today speaking to the Superintendent and VP and informed them both that I will not deal with the Principal again and I know my son will have a target on his back from her...Oh and did I mention that last year she told me "I must not be quite the mother I claim since I did not know my son was missing an assignment in a class", I informed her that "if she ever made that type of statement to me again she would be SO very sorry she did because my children are my TOP priority" and she says "yeah if you say so" then she hung up on me!!!!!!!!So what is a mother to do when she feels like her child is losing out over something stupid!! I was asked today by the Superintendent "why do you not just teach your son that sometimes life isn't fair and this is how it is"? My response to that was "because I teach my children to stand up for what they believe and what is right"...He didn't have a response for that. UGHH it sucks being in a situation that you cannot control! My feeling is I am the parent and I make the decisions for him so when they do something like this it takes part of MY job away!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Who would even want to be mean to this kid?!?!
A teacher once lowered my kid's grade basically because when I went to buy supplies for a project, everywhere I went was out of the specific brand of poster board she had specified. No matter how I argued, they wouldn't bend. I let it go because most of the time, it was my con-man child who was bending the rules like the elastic on an old pair of underwear.
ReplyDeleteWhat a mess! I'm sorry you have to deal with it, too. Wish I had some advice, but I don't. Life may not be fair, but the whole reason this country is headed down the wrong path is because people don't stand up for what they know is right, and TRUTH. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteOh Michelle - that just make my heart break and made me mad all at the same time!
ReplyDeleteI was that 'good' kid who wound up with an administrator picking on me in high school (threw a fit because I complained when a guy threw a pornographic magazine in my face at lunchtime).
Well, let's just say that Mama Bear showed up at the school and had the last word.
While life may not be fair (you and I know that well), it doesn't mean that you roll over and let unfair things happen when you have a way to right them.
Girl, my mom PULLED ME OUT OF SCHOOL when things went wrong. I ended up in a better place. Pray and see what God wants to have happen with this administrator at his school, and where your son should be.
Some people have no right working with kids. Glad you stood your ground.
You are doing NOTHING wrong! I would do the exact same thing for my children if they were in that situation. My mom ran into jerk teachers and other educators along the way when I was in school. I can remember two specific times where she too had to call the VP and Principal regarding a stupid teacher. It's sad that this happens. Keep your momma backbone and pay attention to those momma lion hairs that raise on the back of your neck when it comes to your kids. :)
ReplyDeleteI just had a long comment but lost it. There are always those people who think they can parent your kids better then you can.
ReplyDeleteHang in there, keep going in to the school, keep telling them what you think and make sure your BOE knows the comments your principal makes. My school always got a little nervous when my mom showed up! Keeps 'em on their toes. I finally showed up at ours too many times and the last time, I pulled my kids.
I am not a fantastic homeschool mom. I never desired to be a teacher, however, I desired to be a mother!
Wow! Things like this remind me why I home educated my children. My daughter ran home from school one day because she was being badly bullied. Two girls were tipping paint and water on her in the art class. She ran out. The teacher sent the two girls who had been doing it after her to get her back! They set on her in the corridor. Another teacher saw them from across the corridor and was banging on the glass to get them to stop. My daughter ran home. I went to the school with her the next day. The head of department said, "We don't have a bullying problem here." I said, What's this, Scotch mist?!" My daughter finished the term and never went back.
ReplyDeletePublic Schools are a blast.... Here's my horror story: My son Brady sustained a head injury when he was about 7 years old. When he started school that fall going into 3rd grade it was becoming apparent that he had learning disabilities as a result. He was doing worse then struggling but HE never gave up. Not even through the tears because something were just impossible for him to do, like write down his spelling words. He could verbally spell them perfectly, but what was on paper was gibberish.
ReplyDeleteI spoke to the teacher she said "oh we are just passing him because he is unteachable". OMG let me tell you. I went off bad. First I had her write that very statement in his student record. Then I got a copy of that file (they do have to give it if you request it). I DEMANDED a MFE (multi-factored Evaluation - test to discover learning disabilities). That school took too long to get it done so I went to superintendent and complained - I got no where. So I went to the State Board Of Education and filed a complaint. With-in 7 days of that complaint my son had the testing done. The teacher was put on leave, the principle 'retired', and the superintendent moved to a different district. And I moved all three of my children out of that school district.
Today Brady is a Freshman in high school and is mainlined with minimal services and maintains an A/B average.
So my advice to you is to stand up to these people, he is your son, not theirs. School is a two way street between parents and the teachers/administration. They are supposed to work WITH you not against you.
I am so sorry you have to deal with this! I think you are doing the right thing. I don't think that they should punish the kid for car troubles, I understand why if so many parents call in and say their kid had car trouble, but please! It isn't their fault. I think that policy needs to be changed.
ReplyDeleteGlad you went above the principle's head. Good for you!!! You are an excellent mother and too bad they don't see that.
You guys ROCK!! Thank you SO much for your encouraging words and sharing your story's as well! That gives me some sight into other ways to fight this!
ReplyDeleteI think you did the RIGHT thing. It is more important to show your children that standing up to what you believe is right CAN make a difference, that they should NEVER accept a situation simply because "life is unfair at times". I have instilled in my son this very attitude, and it has served him well as an adult.
ReplyDeleteGood for you, mama bear, for standing up for him! OOOoooooohhh, that makes me so mad! I'm so very, very glad I was home educated and never had to worry about that kind of thing. 'Course being in public college isn't necessarily any better, but at least I'm older, I'm treated as an adult, and there's generally less of that sort of thing, at least that I've seen here.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Rebekah.... I'm so glad I was homeschooled!
ReplyDeleteI did go to school 2nd and 3rd grade. I remember one time the whole class got in trouble for being loud or something...anyway, the teacher made us stay after school. I FREAKED out. I remember being so scared because we lived 15 miles from town, and I knew I would miss my bus! I sat there sobbing my eyes out, and I remember to this day that teacher telling me to quite crying, it wasn't that big of a deal, she would take me home, blabbedy blah. I knew that she didn't realize how far out of town I lived. Anyways, thankfully my bus driver was such a sweet lady, and knew I was supposed to be on the r bus and she waited for me. My parents had a talk with that teacher, and pulled me out shortly after that.
What scares me about public schools is how our rights as parents can be challenged! God gave US those babies to raise and take care of. No one else has any say! Keep fighting girl!
Thank you guys!!
ReplyDeleteJennifer~ Your very last paragraph sums it up 100%!! That is a fact, and I am glad you reminded me of just that!!
Just another reason that confirms that my choice of pulling my kids out of public school in second grade was the best choice we could have ever made for my children's education!!!
ReplyDeleteWe've been homeschooling our kids for over 5 years now and wow! The stories I hear over and over about what is going on in the public education system around the country just makes me feel such a feeling of relief knowing we are immune to all of that! What a nightmare!
Our kids are socialized in the correct and normal ways....not sitting in classrooms all day with only kids their same age. That's not how the real world works. In the real world, people come into other people of all different ages and they have to communicate with them.
Most kids can;t even communicate with adults because they've been taught that adults are their prison wardens and must be shunned. Or they are too afraid of adults.
And sitting in a classroom for 8-10 hours a day, and then coming home to do homework for another 2-3 hours every night is just not normal. Homeschooled kids go out into the world every day to learn how things work, to experience the world and the people within it.
Whenever anyone who sees our kids out on a traditional school day ask why my kids aren't in school, my kids always answer, "We're Home Schooled......the World is our Classroom!"
I'm so sorry you're having to deal with such stupidity, and I'm sorry the truck is giving you trouble, too.
You seem to have a bright, smart, and kind son. Don't let those public schools mess him up. You give it to 'em, but good!
~Lisa
Thanks Lisa!! Your kids are very lucky to have you!!
ReplyDeleteHow would you like to live the life of that principal? can you imagine how it must feel to have a chip that size on your shoulders every day of your life. It would be a very miserable existence! Perhaps if a few of you got together and prayed for this person, improvements in her life may happen. I know what I am talking about as I have personally seen the effects that prayer can do.
ReplyDeleteYou sound like you are teaching your son the right things, integrity, honesty and how to live with a quite often unfair life experience. Way to go!
Ian~ Yes that is indeed a great answer!! I do have a prayer ring that prays for this...It has not gotten much better I'm afraid. But my J is handling it all in stride! Thanks for your comment!!
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