Always Cherish Those We Love...

I had such a great weekend and I couldn't wait to share it with you all! Unfortunately that great weekend is a bit of a memory now after today. Almost a year ago I posted about numerous sad things that were going on and in that post I mentioned my friend Dennie, at the time he had just been diagnosed with cancer but it was unknown what type and stage it was. Shortly after that post it was found that Dennie had a very aggressive cancer that started in his pancreas and had metastasized to his liver. It was a very odd cancer in origin as it wasn't an actual "pancreatic cancer" it had actually died off in the pancreas and had been spreading for many years the Dr's said. It was likely to have been there close to a decade before it moved into the liver and took on a life of it's own.

I should tell you here that this is not the same friend I told you about here, that is a different friend who is currently fighting his terrible battle with cancer...

Let me tell you about Dennie, he was 40 when he was diagnosed and was the husband of my lifelong best friend Shanna. I was the Matron of Honor in their wedding. He was a great Christian man who dedicated his life to God's calling, was he perfect? NO! He fought trials just like us all. Dennie was actually a very good friend of my other life long best friend Trisha and they had met through church. He had a daughter (whom he pretty much raised) and my friend had 2 daughters so they spent alot of time together with their girls. Dennie had a best friend named Mark and he helped get Mark and Trish together who have now been married for 7 years I think. After that they always felt so bad for Dennie because he was single and would make an awesome husband! That's where Shanna comes in, they introduced the two and they pretty much hit it off from the start. They were married within a year, Shanna had 3 kids from her previous marriage and Dennie had the 1 daughter. Then after being married for a year or so they got pregnant and had a son of their own.

Such a handsome man!

Dennie and Shanna shared a somewhat hard life together. Even though they were both awesome people who loved each other dearly they had problems they couldn't get past. After about 5 years of marriage they ended up separated which was around the time that Dennie was diagnosed. Their divorce was actually finalized after he was getting fairly sick...In any case Dennie had a great support system and first tried chemo but then after the Dr's decided that the cancer was not responding to the treatment they gave him an option, they told him that he could have surgery to remove half of his liver and with that scenario he had a 50% chance of dying on the table and there was no promises that it would work. He chose not to do the surgery and decided to try a natural healing clinic in Colorado. I am not sure what the clinic did for him, but I do know that they teach you about taking care of your body and trying to kick start your body to fight the cancer itself. Unfortunately this did not work, so Dennie was then left without any options.

Dennie with his little sidekick ;)

He fought this battle for almost a year, the cancer ravaged his body. He no longer looked like a man in his late 30's, he looked like a very sick man in his 60's. He spent months in so much pain from the cancer spreading and growing massively in his body. So big that he could point to the area that was forming under his skin. His quality of life was not something good it was terrible, the last few months of his life he couldn't even stay awake longer than a few hours a day and needed constant care to do even the simplest of things...I bring this up because there is so much confusion among some people where they think that only chemo treated patients will lose all ability to do anything and lose precious quality life time. It is simply not true...Not that ALL cancer patients will go through what Dennie did, but patients with cancers of that nature will.

Dennie sharing his last Father's Day with his kiddo's

I am so saddened to share that Dennie passed away early Sunday morning with friends and family all around him. They knew he was getting ready to leave them as his system started shutting down Saturday, however they did not expect it to be so quick. Dennie left behind 2 children, 1 daughter who is the same age as my DD of 11, and 1 son who is 3 1/2...He also left 3 children who still considered him their stepdad and my other friends 2 girls that considered him as an uncle. He will be missed deeply but he will never be forgotten.

A smile that will never be forgotten...

So my message today is simply this, treasure those you love and never take a single moment for granted. I think we are all guilty of it, I know I sure am!

Then to just top everything off this Sunday afternoon J's 9 month old Australian Shepherd was struck by a truck and killed...Struck by a truck that was driven by a friend of his! She was never a dog to go in the road so we don't understand what she was doing out there! J's friend had passed our house a few minutes earlier and was not driving fast like people usually do down our dirt road and when he came back down the road he said she just flew out from beside the mailbox that sits on the other side of our road, I was very thankful that this young man at least came to our door and told the Hubby what happened, he felt extremely bad about it...She was a sweet little girl and incredibly loving! She also liked to bark...ALOT...J is very upset over this, I wish I could just take the pain away! What a crappy way to end a previously great weekend...

Chevy at 3 weeks old...I'm sure I have more current pics but I just love this one of her!

With a Sad, Heavy Heart and Tear FIlled Eyes...

I have had so many friends and loved ones fight different battles with cancer that I am just so sick of losing people to this nasty disease! I think the majority of us has all lost someone to cancer and how I wish that wasn't the case. A very close friend of my family's is fighting a terrible battle with Metastatic Melanoma. I used to work for a cancer center and it was a common thought among those highly educated with the different diseases that Metastatic Melanoma would be one of the worst cancer's to have.

Terry has worked with my mother for probably somewhere around 20 years and is such a superb man. I actually in recent years have secretly (well and not so secretly LOL) hoped he and my mom would date! He is just such a neat guy and pretty much one of the most amazing guys ever! So about a year ago he was diagnosed with Melanoma and he had removed it but for some reason his Dr didn't see it necessary to undergo any further treatment. I wasn't very happy with that answer but he trusted his Dr...Then about 4 months ago he called his Dr's office because he had a mass growing out of his shoulder, their response to him was "it would be best for everyone involved if he would just wait to see the Dr at your re-check appt that is coming up"...I was floored!! I mean seriously I cannot believe they would say something like that to a patient! So he obliged and when he was seen they sent him in for some further testing and was then diagnosed with the Metastatic disease. Terry was very optimistic and very adamant that he was beating this thing, it would not kill him. Then his knees started to hurt within a week of finding out and he was then sent in again and was found to have the metastasies in both knees. The Dr gave Terry the treatment options of going to a specialist hospital in TX or staying local and doing a chemo/radiation combo, when Terry asked him if he would benefit from going to the clinic the Dr told him no he would treat him the same here! WHAT?! NO YOU WON'T!!! I was SO upset, I talked with my mom at length about it and why he should go and she truly tried to convince him to do it but he "trusted his Dr". So he stayed and started the treatments and continued to have intense pain in both knees, at the wedding I shot back in May he was just a couple of weeks into diagnosis and he could barely walk!

This continued over the next few months, I cannot even tell you the number of times I have felt like his level of care was well below standard as far as the Dr's reactions and performance. The combination of chemo drugs that he was on was a standard treatment but there were a couple of other immunotherapy drugs that he should have been on to ward off any new cell growth and he was not put on it. He also needed blood transfusion due to low white counts and the Dr failed to order that as well. Terry continued to work even when he could barely walk, he was in so much pain that the meds weren't even touching it! Finally last week he was told that he needed to go on disability because they were needing to put him on a Morphine and Oxycontin mix to try and control the pain. Still he found no relief, so they ordered a CT scan to "investigate" the pain. Wednesday afternoon he was told they could no longer treat him and he needed to contact Hospice care...The cancer had spread from his knees up into his hips and had literally eaten through his hip bone to the point that it was nearly fractured. Let me just add here that Terry is 6'5 and built pretty solid so that was a huge blow! They also basically said the cancer has spread to multiple areas but didn't name anything specific. I was devastated when I received the call, this man that I want so badly to beat this disease is losing this battle at a rapid speed! I had held out hope and faith from the beginning that he would be spared and he would have a heck of a testimony to share. I wanted so badly for him to be okay, I don't know why but this saddens me to the point that it physically hurts! You all know my dad is no longer with me and somehow I guess I hoped he would fill that hole. Terry is SO great with my kiddo's, he loves to watch DD ride and thinks J is a super young man, so much of how my dad was.

I guess I started losing hope really about a month ago after I got a phone call from my mama saying she had a HUGE secret that I could not share with anyone!!! Big time, like I think she threatened my life LOL! But Terry told her she could share the news with me and ME only! He had been praying that if he was going to die from this battle with cancer that he win some money so he could pay off his debts and not leave his 19 yr old daughter with any financial trouble *insert tears*, well he did it...He played Keno and won $100,000...My momma was so happy for him but she said "I was heartbroken inside when he told me because that means he's going to die"...So after he paid taxes he walked away with $70,000 and paid his debts clean.

Terry had one wish to fulfill this weekend before this disease completely took over and that was to go to a local fair and watch an annual rodeo that DD runs in every year. He has grown up around this town and has never missed one yet. It would be his last time to see her run and he and my momma and their friends had it planned out that they were getting a wheelchair from another friend and they would wheel him up there. Well when Hospice came out on Friday they decided that they would just get him a wheelchair so they left and returned with it and Terry was in the chair with his roommate and roommates wife along with the Hospice RN and he went to adjust his position in the chair and Mike (the roommate) heard a terrible pop then Terry was in TERRIBLE pain so the RN immediately called 911...He broke that hip, the one the cancer killed. WHY?! I don't get why he couldn't have had just one last thing to make him smile....So Terry lies right now in a hospital bed waiting for Monday morning for his Oncologist to decide if he should have surgery and have a pin put in or not. Apparently the Dr told him at his appt last week that if they operated the cancer *could* spread. Which is true but the other choice would be to be bed ridden until he dies, so what is the lesser of two evils?!

My sweet J came up with an idea for DD to paint TT in a heart on her horse for the rodeo Saturday night as a tribute to Terry and we would of course record it and take it to show him. DD was thrilled with this idea but was having a case of nerves Saturday morning and started saying maybe she didn't want to run because Krissy had been off so long and they'd only been practicing for 4 days. I said to her that it was her choice but if she didn't she wouldn't be able to pay that tribute to Terry so she said YES she wanted to do it!

*And yes my artistry skills leave alot to be desired!!

So Saturday night we headed out for the rodeo with awesome friends and family to support her (my momma stayed with Terry) and my Hubby said she was a ball of nerves before her run. See last year at this rodeo was the one where she did the 360 spins off Pete and crashed into barrel 2 with her back and head. BUT she has been back there to a fun show on Krissy and did really well...So anyhow the Hubby says she was grunting and making all sorts of noises trying to get her nerves out LOL! But she came in shining like a star and ran that pattern! It wasn't a perfect run but it was clean and my family and friends were hollering for her, it literally brought tears to my eyes...I was SO very proud of her and she was proud too...I took a picture of her and Krissy before the run and sent it to my momma who showed it to Terry and he just loved it!

So now we wait, wait and see what the Dr will say. And we pray, pray alot...

DD's Tribute run

This Story Breaks my Heart!!

A few months ago I shared a story of a family that we rodeo with. At the time that I wrote that post Brett the husband/dad had been in a very bad lawn mower accident, to read that post go here. Brett has been recovering and undergoing multiple different surgeries and physical therapy's, he has really been working hard to get as back to normal as he can. His road has been long and tough and it will continue to be that way for a while. So whilst they have been trying to move on with their lives they have had another HUGE life changing event...

On September 10, 2009 Karody who is the wife/mother of the Robbins family was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma of the right breast grade 2. She has had some positive things to her type of cancer such as she tested ER/PR Positive and the HER2/neu was good (not over expressive which would be a bad thing). The ER/PR positives are good because that means she will be able to receive hormonal therapy. So her current plan of action is 5 months of chemo followed by bilateral mastectomy with immediate reconstruction and possible radiation. Karody is hoping and praying for no radiation. She is a vibrant young woman who has 2 small children. She is a barrel racer and loves riding!! She is also hoping and praying that she will be able to attend the rodeo circuit that our kids do together as it is a very big part of their lives..

So friends I ask today that you would please add this family to your prayer list. If you happen to have a prayer ring or prayer group at church please, please add the Robbins family! I can not imagine how stressed and exhausted they must be feeling.. When I talked with Karody about everything she expressed that she is focusing on getting better and being there for her family and I asked her if there was anything I could possibly do for them and she said just prayers please.