Tuesday, December 7, 2010

It Is What It Is....

So basketball season is upon us here in the Heartland and I gotta tell ya...I'm gonna have a stroke before its all said and done! There are many things that I am and quiet is not one of them. I actually struggle with this on a daily basis, I have no idea why it comes to me so strongly, other than the women in my family are all outspoken and tell it like it is! Sometimes to much so...

So I have come to my blog tonight in search of something...I don't really know what...I guess I am hoping one of my wonderful readers will have words of wisdom that can calm my soul when I feel like striking out at someone in a basketball game. I know, terrible!! Right?!

I am a parent whom always wants to see my kiddos excel, do their best and even be better than anyone else at whatever it is they are doing. But I am not blind to the fact that they aren't the best at everything they do. There are plenty of things they can improve on, always...J is my sports kid (as you all know). In our family we prefer football (as you all know). But THEY also like basketball, yes "they", not WE! I actually have a love/hate relationship with BB.

I also believe that we are only as good as our coaches allow us to be. If we are taught right then we will excel, if not we won't. Speaking mainly in *team* sports by the way. You see a few years ago our school district hired a new head BB coach, when he came into our system we had a massive losing streak in this sport. Literally his first season with us we had a winning Varsity team (note I said varsity). Well he took a group of kids that had been on a losing streak for some time and changed the program and helped them to become winners. That was J's freshman year. The next year we lost a couple of great players but the coach moved some JV kids up and made another winning team! Then at the end of the season last year he basically told them all that their winning streak was over due to the fact that his *good kids* were graduating...Really he said this! Not only did he say this to the players he also told us parents at what was supposed to be the awards banquet that we should not expect great things the next year (now this year) because our *good players* were gone. Umm I was pissed, just pissed! You do not tell these kids they are losers cause guess what?! They will be!! So then this year when we got our new head football coach the head BB coach makes some comment to the kids about he hopes this new coach doesn't expect great things cause it won't happen! Well needless to say I was thrilled when our boys finished with a 7-2 record and made it to playoffs!!! I'm hoping he felt the pain as he ate those words!

So moving on, we also have a freshman/sophomore coach and a JV coach. J had played for the freshman coach since junior high and they never had any wins, literally I don't think they ever won a game! So now this year he is playing for the JV coach and I am not happy...I feel terrible about this because as a person this coach is an extremely nice guy and has a wonderful family. I believe for the most part he treats the kids well, but the problem is...they don't play good...I mean ever...Like I'm not sure when the last time the JV won a game was...But yet the kids he had before moved up to varsity and they became a winning team?! So how does this happen?! And there is this really strange conundrum that all of the kids that played for the freshman/sophomore coach for 4 years straight (cause they had him as a junior high coach as well), well they sit the bench...And my J is one of them...

Is J good at BB? Yes he is, is he the best? No he's not. But for some reason the coach has made this decision to basically play these certain 5 kids and J may be lucky to be subbed in for a whole 4 minutes (max) during the game. Last Friday was their first game of the season and he wasn't put in until the end of the 1st quarter and he scored 6 points within a couple of minutes. Then into the 2nd quarter he was fouled and actually chipped one of his front teeth which caused him a bloody lip so he had to be sat out for that. Well when he went out of the game they were up by 2 points and quickly their lead was lost. J was not allowed back in until the 4th quarter after they had a 40 point hole dug! So tonight we had another game and the coach does precisely the same thing, same starting 5, same turnovers and missed baskets and he finally lets J in the game with 5 seconds on the clock at the end of the 1st quarter...What the heck?! What's the point of that?! 5 seconds!! He did play for maybe 2 minutes in the 2nd quarter and then same deal as Friday for the last half of the game, pretty much not-ta nothing! During the game when the 5 *starters* are playing and making mistakes the coach will turn to the kids on the bench and raise his voice telling them all about what the kids on the court are doing wrong but yet he never tells them?! Then he will just sit in the chair with his arms crossed and say nothing for the rest of the game! I'm just not getting it, I don't understand why we can't look at stats and see who's worthy to play and who's not! And why is it that we continue to do the same thing over and over and nothing ever changes!

I get so very mad watching this go on! Like I said I don't think my kids the greatest but I know he's better than some that are playing...Just like in football, J wasn't the best player before but with proper coaching he became a pretty big deal this year. I was saving this for another post but I'll just share it with you now, every year the coaches nominate players on the team for "All League Team" which is basically just an honors team for the best in the district between all of the schools then the other coaches from the other teams pick the winners and J was awarded with Honorary Defensive-back! I am so proud of this kid! He was so proud of himself! So in BB I know with the right coaching he could be a great asset to the team and I don't say that just because I'm his momma, it's true. Just like it's true that you will never hear me complain when he sits the bench in baseball because it's not his sport, he's not very good at it. He never played until he got into high school and really only does it to stay in shape. So if I felt he wasn't good enough to help the team I wouldn't get so dang mad!

So HELP...Please!! Any words of wisdom on how to lower my blood pressure while at the games?! I have considered Valium but I don't think my Dr would go for that ;) I just want things to be fair and right and they're not!

Okay I'm done venting now...


  1. I really don't have any good advise, but it sounds like they need a new coach. Like what the pros do. I wish you luck on keeping your blood pressure down.

  2. Hm not much advice... Although I will say that we DID lose all our good players last year, but I don't think anyone should tell the players that! Our players are doing very well for what they are, but the team isn't what it was last year. I think most coaches are going to play their fav kids, and the other ones are going to end as bench warmers. Just the way things go. We have a good coach, but he kept several players on the bench last year.

  3. Sorry, really don't have any words of advice either. I remember when I was in high school. I had a horrible basketball coach. He would yell and be disrespectful to us. My dad and brother threatened to come out of the stands to "deal" with him. I had no respect for him and eventually quit. I wasn't the greatest player either. It was just another sport I played but I lost all respect for him. Decided I would rather not play than deal with his tantrums.

  4. Ugh! My only thought is get with the other parents who's kids are bench sitting. Discuss as a group, and approach the problem as group. This way you won't come off as the "Problem mom".

    Any rate good luck with this! How does J feel?